Present Position: Knight of Swords (reversed) - (Is DH an airman or have something to do with flying or flight?) I'm not sure exactly what this is... I get the feeling that you may be bored? Looking for new challenges, something drastic... almost as if you are in a "rut" ... I'm not really sure what this means... could also be referring to your DH or maybe both of you, which may be why I'm so confused...
DH isnt an airman...........someone else I know is a airman and I he is kinda ummm significant to me.
Yes, I am really bored!!!> always looking for new challenges.
Immediate Influences: Knight of Cups (reversed) - A change in the level of romance in your life... almost as if your personal relationships are taking a break or on the "back burner" while you deal with more pressing issues...
Yes, that is kinda true right now, the oldest kid has been diagnoses with ODD, takes a lot of time. Also the marriage is on a *slow burn*. I kinda have been dealing with someone else the person who is an airman on and off for the last 6 yrs. He has been pressing me to leave my hubby etc. He has got emotionally, but has not had me physically ( does that make any sense???)
Your Life: Ace of Cups (reversed) - Distancing... as in relationships becoming distant, are you isolating yourself from your loved ones or do you feel like they are pulling away from you?
Yes, true because I am confused over the Airman. I feel like I am drawing backwards and trying to give my DH reason not to love me anymore. Weird i know.
Root of the Reading: 9 of Pentacles (reversed) - There is a lack in a sense of self-worth or achievement... a feeling as if the work you are doing or have done has not or is not being recognized... leaving you hurt, upset, and perhaps a bit bitter?
Yes, I know I havent fullfilled my total achievement and I am not sure what else to do.
Past Influences: Temperance (reversed) - Temperance has to do with "tempering" or a trial by fire... difficult circumstances, because this card is reversed I am getting the feeling that you may have been sheltered from a great deal of things that may have been traumatic for you... you've had your fair share of ups and downs, but someone in your past took it upon themselves to keep as much of the horrors of life away from you or you away from them...
Not to sure what that one means, but yes, I have had my fair share of ups and downs!.
Future Influences: 3 of Pentacles - (something about your past and your future revolving around money or material items??) Keep plugging away, though you may feel that you are not getting the recognition and/or benefits of your hard work, they will pay off...
Yes, often DH and I disagree about money. Also the airman has money and material things he has offered me in the past and told me he wants to in the future ??
Your Feelings: 4 of Cups (reversed) - You know that you are blessed, you have a lot of wonderful things and people in your life and you know that you are lucky to have them....
Immediate Influences: 3 of Cups - A reunion? Is someone from your past coming to visit or has there been someone that you have not seen in a while who has recently come back into your life? This has (or will) bring you great pleasure and happiness...
The Airman ? I havent met him, but we have been talking for 6 long yrs. It does give me pleasure to think I might finally see him.
Hopes & Fears: The Moon (reversed) - Reflection... a look into your dark side or an unwillingness to see your faults...
Outcome: Wheel of Fortune (reversed) - Endings and beginnings, a change of circumstance... you may be feeling as if you have to go where the wind blows, but you DO have a choice, you DO have options, you don't HAVE to be a leaf shifting and flying according to the whim of the breeze... there are SOME things beyond your control, but ultimately we are all the masters of our own destinies.....
That makes sense. sometimes I feel like I want to leave the DH and go to the Airman. I know that isnt the right move, my mind tells me that ALL the time, but the heart says yes. I also know how easily I get bored with the whole marriage deal. I am torn between wanting to be married and wanting to be free. I love my marriage now in that it gives me the freedom to be free. I love my DH for knowing that I like to party and be free and he lets me. I know leaving DH to go to the Airman isnt the right choice. But sometimes I feel like it. I have also felt trapped in a *foreign* country so to speak and sometimes think even if I wanted to leave my DH I am to far from home to go anywhere. I have also become resigned to the fact that I will stay with DH, my mind tells me this is the right choice
. But my heart.......another matter entirely!.
Thank you Christina, it was pretty acurate!!!!!!!!.
Here you are Maz 
