I don't know.

[I cant remember]

I know that up there ^ totally sounds like crap, but it's true.

I was a member here a long time ago. I left b/c I got caught in the crossfire. when (BBB) got torn apart I had friends on both sides. I had people here talking crap about people I really cared about. So I left b/c people couldn't move on.

I still have friends on the other board. I haven't been banned. I have backed off of there considerably, though, b/c people are so vicious lately. I learned about stinkhousesucks, and checked it out. Shocked and saddened that Christina still has such strong feelings. NO, what they did to you was not right. I stood up for you in that chat room the best I could. I was not happy with the result. You and Laura and some of the others were very nice to me when some others weren't as sweet. But I had friends on the other side too, and I left here b/c I felt like I was being pushed to choose by this side. SO, I chose the side that didn't push.

I had suspicions that some of the nasty moods in BBB were because of people on stinkhouse causing some trouble. By the looks of it, it is probably true. I have had recent friends leave BBB and go to Stink. Again, I feel caught in the middle.

I want my friends back. I'm sick of the bitter, backstabbing behavior. We're grown women. We are supposed to be a beautiful, powerful, yet peaceful race. So why are we drawing blood without need? Not just you guys, but the other side. I feel like a red-headed stepchild either way. I have no place anywhere. I have heard some awful things about what gos on in member only and hidden forums on these sites. What if I joined here/there, only to find people I thought were my friends were bashing me behind my back? How on earth do you get new members if they come to you after being treated unfairly there, only to find themselves torn apart in a thread 2 pages down?

I don't know what to do or where to go. I am sad and angry that there doesn't seem to be a HAPPY place without malice with any of my online friends. I tried to register with SS, and have had no response. I dont want to be a spy. I just wanted to test the waters. If my old friends rip me apart as mercilessly as they have some of my other friends who have seen themselves in your forums, then I dont want to be there. I want comfort, support, a place to yell and a shoulder to lean on. What I had 2 years ago at BBB. I don't know if I can have it on any of the 3 boards. But I guess I'm trying.
Maybe I will know by the response I get here.

[Christina]

Hrm.... ummmm ok... so what on earth provoked this and what is it doing on here?

I was a member here a long time ago. I left b/c I got caught in the crossfire. when (BBB) got torn apart I had friends on both sides. I had people here talking crap about people I really cared about. So I left b/c people couldn't move on.

You don't have to listen to crap if you don't want to... no one here was forcing anyone to choose sides, as I recall it was BBB that was forcing people to pick one or the other... we didn't really care. As for moving on, we had, but every few months something stupid would happen or GloHorlio would rear her psychotic head and cause trouble here (you can read the old drama thread if you like... check the dates...) The members here on HAFH/Mariposa were only too happy to see the end of the big ban drama... as for talking crap, I don't recall doing much of that then... though I may do a fair amount now... I hardly see how voicing my opinions is anyone else's concern. If people don't like what I have to say, they don't need to listen to me... I'm not going to just because someone thinks I should.

I still have friends on the other board. I haven't been banned. I have backed off of there considerably, though, b/c people are so vicious lately.

I hardly see what this has to do with me or with HAFH/Mariposa.... this board is completely different from what it was when it started and is moving in a different direction mainly because MAPS and SH-S are now the arenas to voice concerns/anger/resentment about BBB.

I learned about stinkhousesucks, and checked it out. Shocked and saddened that Christina still has such strong feelings

Which stinkhousesucks are you referring to? The forum that has evolved into MAPS? Or the website Stinkhouse-sucks.com? If you take the time to read my stinky story, you'd realize that I hadn't even thought of BBB in a long while... but the Navy Times article and the plight of the new group of ladies on MAPS gave me pause and made me go take another look at BBB and their specific number of 'active' members as referenced in the Navy Times article. I looked up my old screenname and was stunned to realize that I was still listed there as "active" not only was my old screenname there, but my yahoo id and email address were there as well. I looked up the old information of the other ladies who had been banned for "associating" with me, and they were all still listed as well. This after I and others had all been told that our accounts and information would be removed... was I shocked? Yes, I was. Was I angry... you bet I was. Will I apologize for creating Stinkhouse-sucks.com? No way.... I do not appreciate being used as a name to pad the BBB's numbers to look more attractive to potential sponsors. I believe it is manipulative and deceitful and I feel that I have a responsibility to tell my story and to advise other women that may run across BBB what sort of treatment they may expect there. Not only that, the SH-S Wall of Shameis a forum to direct women who are looking for a support system/forum that SUITS them... and on the Wall of shame is a word of mouth area specifically for that... I won't stop what I am doing just because it's ruffling feathers. I HAD gotten over it and moved on... but once I found out that I was still listed there as a member, I knew I had a duty to spread the word about them. Am I bitter? No... am I angry and fed up? You bet I am....

NO, what they did to you was not right. I stood up for you in that chat room the best I could.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I believe that it would have been better if they hadn't pretended to be suprised that I couldn't enter that chat myself... instead chatting with only a select few of the members they had banned from BBB. The lied... over and over in that chat and out of it, so forgive me if I don't believe anything that comes from them anymore... fool me once, etc. etc. This also leads me to believe that you are KNeil.

You and Laura and some of the others were very nice to me when some others weren't as sweet.

I doubt you would find anyone who remembers me from before I was banned who would tell you I was ever otherwise... I was nice to everyone and quick to offer a helping hand... after I was banned I got an email from a woman looking for me who asked where I was, when I told her what happened, she told me she had always thought of me as one of the "lights" of BBB, someone kind and generous and truly caring... you'll find the vast majority of the ladies who were banned with me, were the same.

I had friends on the other side too, and I left here b/c I felt like I was being pushed to choose by this side. SO, I chose the side that didn't push.

I have no idea what would have given you that impression... in the members sections we made it quite clear to new members that we didn't care if they were still part of BBB... we never forced or asked anyone to choose... BBB did.

I had suspicions that some of the nasty moods in BBB were because of people on stinkhouse causing some trouble. By the looks of it, it is probably true. I have had recent friends leave BBB and go to Stink. Again, I feel caught in the middle

I am not sure what you mean by "trouble"... if you mean stating opinions and ideas that are not "kosher" on BBB.. then yeah, SH-S, MAPS, and a thousand other forums are full of that kind of "trouble".... if people don't think what is being said about them is true, then it really shouldn't bother them. GloHo calling me names never made a difference to me.. the fact that she called me demon spawn doesn't make it true.... the fact that it DOES bother them would make me think that they are being shown a reflection of their persona and are not liking it... JMHO. I don't know why you would feel "caught in the middle" on my account as we've not spoken in years... if you feel that way on the account of some other friends then I suggest that you speak with them.

I'm sick of the bitter, backstabbing behavior.

Ahem.. who is it that has stabbed whom?

I feel like a red-headed stepchild either way. I have no place anywhere. I have heard some awful things about what gos on in member only and hidden forums on these sites. What if I joined here/there, only to find people I thought were my friends were bashing me behind my back? How on earth do you get new members if they come to you after being treated unfairly there, only to find themselves torn apart in a thread 2 pages down?

I am sorry that you feel this way... I truly, truly am, but again I fail to see why you are coming here with it. If people you think are your friends are talking about you behind your back, then I would think you need to be more selective about who you call your "friend"... and from what I've seen on MAPS, most who see stuff about themselves will put up or shut up... those who don't will move on.

I tried to register with SS, and have had no response. I dont want to be a spy. I just wanted to test the waters

I really don't care if people spy on SH-S and I am fairly certain that the ladies on MAPS don't care either. As for no response, I am not sure which site you've registered on (they are different) but for the SH-S.com the passwords are generated automatically and if you didn't receive a confirmation email then it is likely in your "junk" email folder... if you registered on MAPS and got no response, I can't help you there as I am not the site admin.

I want comfort, support, a place to yell and a shoulder to lean on. What I had 2 years ago at BBB

Oddly enough, that's excactly how I thought of BBB... until they stuck that knife between my shoulder blades....

I don't know if I can have it on any of the 3 boards. But I guess I'm trying.

These 3 boards are not the end and the beginning of the net.. there ARE other forums that are good... check out the word of mouth area on the Wall of Shame and see if one of THOSE forums will suit your needs... for me, I find that the type of support that I truly need most... comes from within, not from without.

Best of luck to you...

~ C

[FluffyAFPrincess]

Christina made some very valid points. However, I want to add something. (sorry if I'm stepping on tows, but I thought this out before I said it)

If you don't feel comfortable with a site, don't go to it. No one is forcing you to choose; if you are feeling that way, the conflict you are feeling is within you, not the groups. Not every group is a good fit for every one. If you can't seem to find one that fits you, then create one of your own. If your friends left one to join another, they probably had their reasons and are not forcing you to choose between one group or another (and if they are, then they are not true friends, as you have the right to choose to do as you want.) If you want to be a part of both boards, go for it; no one is stopping you. If you don't like a particular topic being discussed in a forum, avoid it and find another. That's why there are many different forums within boards, so there is something for everyone. At Christina's site there are so many different forums that the BBB is only discussed on one board, while other sections have stuff about finding other groups, meeting others, and just general everyday bullshyte.

My main point is do some research to find your own home away from home. If you don't feel comfortable in one place, then it's not homelike. I'm sorry you don't think you found it at Stinkhouse or HAFH, as I know Christina has made many of us feel welcome, which is more than I can say for other boards out there. She definitely put an effort into making those who were banned or moderated a safe haven to chat and be themselves. If you feel you can't be yourself on a board, then that board isn't for you.

I do hope that you find your little niche in the web boards, as everyone deserves to have a home in it.